What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
What question do you hate to be asked and why?
I hate to be asked, “how are you?” I hear this question at least 5 times a day. Each one is the same as the last, superficial and a sentence used to fill space. No one wants a straight answer. I usually reply, “Good, how are you?”, as if I really care. In fact I do not care and neither does the person asking. It’s a mundane thing called pleasantries. If I was to say, “I am in fact horrible today,” I quickly turn the conversation into an awkward and pitiful tone.
Perhaps what bothers me the most is I can feel that the habitual words are lies. I can sense the troubled soul. I can see the weariness in their eyes or the heavy load on their shoulders. I notice the burdens of life taking its toll. The heart aches pulsates from their bones covering their body in a hue of blue. Some are light and wispy but others are dark and cumbersome. I see it and say nothing. Because it is what people do.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I am great. How are you?”
“I am Good.”
Then the conversation ends. Everybody asks but none really wants the truth.
We are taught by society to say nice things, and to participate in this meaningless exchange of words but for what reason other than it is the social norm. I read once that Americans do not know how to handle silence. When two friends get together they feel the need to fill every second of their time with some sort of conversation. The article stated that in other countries a comfortable silence among friends is common and expected. It is a natural part of two people talking. Yet, Americans seem uncomfortable with the lack of words and talk about the whispering wind just to have something to say. Has meaningful conversations become a thing of the past? Conspiracy theories, your hopes and dreams, physics, time travel, relativity, or your fears, I can talk about all day long. But if it is just the surface you want to speak about, leave me out.
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Agreed. And unfortunately it doesn’t just end at “how are you?”. The majority of the talking that we do (or are expected to) is surface level conversations with no real purpose. But getting people to open up about the stuff that actually matters, and all you hear is silence.
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Absolutely!
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Good answer! The “Hi how are you fine how are you good” conversation is annoying to me.
Sometimes I’ll bring up anything else just to change it up:
Hi how’s it going?
“I have a strawberry seed stuck in my molar again. How are your teeth, today?
I hate being asked “Are you okay?” when I’m writhing on the ground after stubbing my pinky toe on the coffee table or spilling McDonalds coffee in my lap.
Thanks for your posts! Have a blessed day!
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Thank you for your comment! God bless
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It’s just a part of saying hello. No one actually expects a response, and by the time you manage to get a “yeah, you?” out, they are already miles away. It took me some time to realise it as a non-native speaker that it’s just neurotypical language for ‘hi!’. Where I’m from, we do tell each other how we are when we’re asked.
Now if a neurodivergent person asks you, they might actually expect a response, and you might have a chance to get someone to commiserate with, and open up to you.
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Maybe people are searching for a little kindness. What if we made more of an effort up front and asked something like, “I’m good! What are your plans for the day?” We can create an atmosphere for genuine care and connections.
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Yup
yeh are right actually
Strokio agreed to you
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yes. i’ve taken to “hello” or “good morning” unless a person really seems to want to go deep with me
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