Anger 😠

I am going to be honest, today I am angry. Not over anything in particular, or maybe it’s a collective, who knows.

I opened my eyes at 7:30 AM and boom, mad at the world. I can feel it, see it and hear it. It is not logical nor does it have any driving force.

I notice my mood and bow my head to pray. Not to ask for a mood change but to thank Him for my blessings and redirect my attention.

PEACE COMES OVER ME!

I continue into the kitchen to let out puppy outside to potty. The moment I stepped out to grab the zip line the door latches behind me. I stand there, leash in hand, mouth gaped open. I knock and knock knowing my husband is still fast asleep in bed and the likelihood of him hearing me is slim. After about 5 minutes of relentless banging I decide to reevaluate the situation.

At this point I am certain the neighbors can see the steam rolling off my head.

I march to my son’s window urging him to get up so he can let me in.

Once back inside I quickly prepare breakfast and attempt to clean while I can.

30 minutes later the baby isn’t happy and breakfast is now all over the floor. My middle child begins to cry because she does not want to do school and knows that time is quickly approaching.

Still aggravated I say another prayer.

PEACE AGAIN

Aaaaannnndddd I am off again to tackle the next task. I clean up the breakfast mess, appease the middle child and get both older kids off to school. In the midst of everything seemingly going right, I attempt to do some more cleaning.

*Bam* I walk right into the corner of a wall.

“What! You have got to be kidding me!” I look at my arm, which took the brunt of the force. A huge bruise was already starting to show.

Two seconds later and the baby begins to cry, and the older two are needing help in school.

*Irritation increases*

I put aside my sour mood and push through the morning. I do my best to stay focus and complete the top priorities. Before I know it, its time for work and I am on my way out the door.

Not 5 minutes into my drive and I get behind the grandpaest of grandpa’s. I kid you not, he was going 25 in 40.

*Anger creeps higher*

I watch the clock, agonizingly tracking every second I fall behind. Finally, I reach the highway and can safely pass him.

Fast forward a couple hours and work has turned into a complete and utter disaster. I pushed a button and, boom, a series of unfortunate events unfolded before my eyes. Its like watching a train wreck, all you can do is stare, mouth gaped open, painfully aware of all this is to come.

*Frustration Increases*

By this point I’m seriously debating just going home and calling it a day. But being the good employee that I am, I stayed and beat my head against the wall, trying to undo what I created.

I start watching the clock diligently, counting down the minutes till my lunch break.

2 hours, 1.5 hours, 1 hour.

I order lunch early just to be certain it would ready on time.

30 minutes, 15 minutes, 5 minutes.

I walk as fast as my legs could carry me, desperate to smell the fresh air and freedom. I hop in my vehicle with my belly rumbling and feeling a little lighter. A short time later, I pull up to my destination to see an ambulance parked outside.

I would later find out that an incident occurred while making my food that almost resulted in the amputation of a finger. The ambulance was there to help with the severity of the situation.

The point of me rambling for so long about my unfortunate day is to point out, it is okay to have bad days. Its going to happen from time to time and sometimes its through no fault of our own. We pray, we refocus, and we still get overwhelmed and aggravated. It does not mean we failed.

I sit here now and I am still on edge. The house is a mess, I need a shower, I am exhausted, yet I sit here and write. Why? Because it’s Friday, the house is quite and I don’t have the energy to do much else. But tonight I will lay my head down and thank Father for all my blessings. Then I will wake up, reset, and try it again.

I don’t know if I will be in a better mood tomorrow. But I do know, if God blesses me with a other day, I will wake up and try again.