The Never Ending List

The Importance of not losing yourself as a mother is crucial to raising well equipped children. As a mother it is easy to over extend yourself. Someone is always needing something and something is always needing done. However, as mothers we need to prioritize ourselves from time to time. Knowing this, I still have a hard time putting that into practice. I will pour and pour until my cup is completely empty, and then somehow still manage to pour more. I let mom guilt convince me I need to do more and be more, until I am beyond exhausted.

That mindset can be detrimental to a person’s mental health and well-being. Not only will it leave you feeling depleted and underappreciated, it will also take a toll on your body. It affects your mood, your energy levels, it depletes your body’s dopamine. Eventually this leads to having little patience and struggling just to maintain everyday routines. You become irritable and snappy, constantly wearing a flat line instead of a smile. Once the parents become stressed and uptight, it usually resonates through the household. The children mimic the personalities of their parents.

A mother who constantly over gives slowly gives pieces of herself away until only a shell remains. She will forget the small things that make her heart sing. She will forget what makes her unique. She will forget who she is outside of motherhood. The woman that lives inside her will cease to exist, possibly never to be found again. It is our duty to maintain a sense of self so our children will also. It is our job to cater to the little girl inside of us and give her attention as well.

So if you are a mother reading this, for starters, good job and keep reading, it is a great outlet. Also, I want you to know that the dishes can wait, it doesn’t matter that they have been sitting there since yesterday. The laundry already smells funny in the washer, you can restart it later. The toys strung all over the living room can lay there a little longer. Go do something you want to do. You’re not getting any younger and you don’t want your whole life to be a series of events of everyone else coming first.

You can not burn a rope from both ends and not expect failure. You can not continue to bend and not expect to break. You can not continue to pour from an empty cup without consequence. By denying yourself simple pleasures you are robbing yourself of happiness. Not to mention the standards that are being set for your children. Would you want them to create the same type of family dynamic for themselves?

I can guarantee everyone will be a lot happier and more content if you would take a moment for yourself everyday. Even if it’s just five minutes, do something that brings joy to your heart. Read a book, draw a picture, write something, start a puzzle, try that recipe you saw online. Put earmuffs on and lock yourself in a room for a moment of silence. Whatever, just as long as it brings you joy, do it.

It is never too late to learn something new or start a new hobby. Don’t be afraid to be a beginner at something. We must teach our children how to rest and just be. We do not have to fill every moment with an activity. We don’t have to stay busy constantly. The dishes can wait, the kids can wait, dinner can be just a few minutes behind. Take a moment for yourself and just breathe. If not, you’re going to dig yourself an early grave and then you will be forced to rest. Start today, start right now. Until you make a conscious effort to make it a habit you will continue to place yourself at the bottom of the list. A list that never quite gets completed.