Modesty

I have two wonderful daughters. As a mother it is my responsibility to teach my daughters what is right and wrong. In return, I provide them with a good foundation to make decisions. With that in mind, I am presented with thousands of opportunities to teach and guide my children each and every day. One thought that recurs often is how to teach my daughters modesty.

I look around today and the idea of modesty seems to be a thing of the past. It saddens me to see young girls putting their bodies on display and the age seems to drop lower and lower with each passing year. It breaks my heart that they feel the need to present such a spectacle to fill the void that is so obviously there. I even find it difficult to find clothing for my girl that is appropriate, as every market is heavily flooded with alternative options. It’s a lot easier to find cute and adorable show all clothing, than it is to find cute and adorable modest outfits.

My mother somehow instilled it in me to wear clothing that did not reveal my body. I was not the teenager that hid short outfits to wear in secret away from home. In fact, if I recall correctly, I didn’t even own any revealing outfits. Maybe that is the key, to never purchase such outfits for my daughters. Then again, at some point they will be old enough to shop on their own. As a child I completely lacked the desire to dress provocatively and felt my body should be viewed as something special for my husband only.

How does one teach such a virtue when the world often leaves little to the imagination with their choice of attire. How do you insure your daughters that the attention that it will attract will not be the attention God intended for them. How do you make them see that most of the other girls are desperate for affirmation and dressing in such a manner fuels that addiction. How do you convince them that they are not lacking or missing out by not dressing like the other girls.

I find myself continually looking at my own childhood, analyzing right and wrong as I aspire to try to do what is best for my children. I want them to be strong and confident. I want them to have a healthy body image and be able to look in the mirror with content. I want them to wear long dresses and comfortable jeans, self assured that they are beautiful without showing a lot of skin.

After much thought and prayer this is my approach. First and foremost, lead by example. How a mother dresses is vitally important. A mother is a daughter’s very first role model. A title that will likely last a lifetime. A daughter can not help but look to her mother for examples of how to dress, behave, love and work. The list goes on and on for the standards we set for our children.

Secondly, start from a young age. Once potty training was over, even while at home, I dressed my daughter in appropriate clothing. My thoughts is, if she is never running around half naked, it will never be a comfortable lounging attire. Doing so could possibly create the mindset of wearing it in public seems absurd.

Third, I do not purchase short shorts, v cut shirts, two piece bathing suits or belly shirts. If I would not wear it, I do not buy it, period. Realistically, I know they will grow older and one day shop for themselves, but maybe the mindset  will carry over into adulthood. Until then, I will not provide them with those options to wear.

In conclusion, I am no expert and my daughters have yet to reach the age to prove my logic. I am simply a mother trying her best to raise her children right in a crazy world. Sometimes my urge to write and overactive imagination sends me down analytical rabbit holes that lead to more questions than answers. Other times I have an epiphany and everything makes sense only for a small moment. Not sure which one this one is but I am glad you could join me.