Exile

Ever since I was a child I have felt exiled.
Always searching for a place I belong,          but never quite singing the right song.

Even before the first thought crossed my lips.
It would seem as if there’s something I’ve missed.
Before I say the first word, their noses are upturned.

I can look in their eyes,
and see the despise.
Always feel like a burden or not enough.
Who knew life would be so tough
I’m always an afterthought,
or helping someone move to a higher spot.

Always quick to lend a helping hand
or reach out whenever I can.
but when I need help it’s a wasteland,
I just don’t understand.
Ever since I could remember,
I’ve always been an offender.
Or so it seems,
When everyone picks teams.

The vibes I put on display,
tend to keep people away.
Unapproachable and snobby some would say,
Yet they don’t even know my name.
I don’t mean to come off as cross,
most days I’m at a loss.

After 30 years I’ve finally quit trying
To put myself in a position of self denying.

I feel God has protected me my whole life,
although I have endured a lot of strife.

Maybe solitude is a way to keep me focused on God.
Instead of the world’s facade.

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise
and I’ve just never realized.

Loneliness has taught me to trust in God’s plan, it’s perfect and grand.
Not the word of man that shifts like the sand.

The world may promise wealth and fame.
But losing your soul is a deadly game.