Children make mistakes, it’s inevitable. How we, as parents, handle those mistakes shape and mold our children. If we are angry and critical about small mishaps it’s likely to create a perfectionist personality. Negativity toward mistakes causes lack of self confidence and fosters the fear of messing up. Mistakes are a part of life during every phase from babies to seniors. Messing up allows us to learn how not to do something, which can be just as important as how to correctly do something. A cup of spilled milk today will be something a lot bigger when they are teenagers.
I remind my children often that everyone makes mistakes, but no matter the mishap, come to me first. Together we can choose the best course of action. My kids have ran to me several times, with seemingly major
problems to them. “Mommy, I broke a toy. Mommy, I knocked over my cup. Mommy my squishy is on the ceiling.” With each different scenario I was the one who calmed the storm. I was the one to remind them that mistakes happen and together we can clean it up or find a solution. Today brings with it the easy problems, ten years from now it could, and will be alot bigger issues. I can’t imagine the scenarios that will be thrown my way. However, one thing I do know without a doubt is I will always be my children’s safe haven. A secure place to run when things get rough or go wrong or just seem confusing or wrong choices were made. I didn’t have this luxury as a child and was often left to my own devices. This is why my kid will forever have someone in their corner cheering them along and ready to step into the ring and fight for them whenever necessary. Who do your children run to when they are in trouble?
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Captivating
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Thank you!
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Children need a safe space to grow and learn. Great post!
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Thank you 😊
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Absolutely. That approach mirrors what we’ve tried to do as well. I allowed my children to make mistakes—but we never chastised them for it. Instead, we focused on explaining what happened and helping them understand the cause and effect. The goal was always to help them learn from it, not to make them feel bad or ashamed. Because the truth is, sometimes things go wrong and it’s completely out of your control. And other times, it is a result of a choice or action—and that’s okay too, because that’s how we grow.
We always tried to separate the action from the child. Mistakes don’t define who they are, and I never wanted them to internalize failure as identity. We asked questions like, “What do you think happened?” or “How might we do it differently next time?”—not to lecture, but to encourage reflection. My hope was always to raise kids who felt safe enough to come to us when things went wrong, rather than hiding it or letting shame grow in silence.
Mistakes are part of life, and the earlier children learn that they can recover, adapt, and still be loved through it all, the stronger and more resilient they become.
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You’re absolutely correct. It’s also an avenue for them to become creative if the parents use the moment of making mistakes as learning opportunities.
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Absolutely!
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When a situation like this is not wisely managed, it can lead to the start of a traumatic experience for the child. Thank you for the post.
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You are very welcome. Thank you for reading.
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Forever is a long time. I did everything right, I believe. But when my children grew up they decided I did everything wrong. I’ll certainly be here for them if they need me.
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Hopefully they return one day. Thank you for your comment.
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